How to Find Purpose as a Man

Understanding Purpose: A Starting Point

To accurately illuminate what a worthwhile sense of purpose is, let’s first dissect an immature example. From there, by contrast, we can discuss an appropriate purpose.

The Misguided Pursuit of Rights Over Responsibility

It isn’t hard to go anywhere physically or electronically and stumble across a massive stack of people complaining about their rights. Go to any American college campus, and you’re bound to find a flock of individuals completely consumed with hollering about their right to free speech.

It’s a free country, they’ll tell you. They have the right to say, be, and feel whatever they want.

The Truth About Rights and Responsibilities

It is certainly true in the United States of America, thanks to The Bill of Rights and The Constitution, that citizens can indeed say whatever they would like about our government without reprisal. These documents, while excellent protections from the government, do not grant protection from other citizens who may disagree with their rhetoric. Much to the chagrin of many, there is no law that protects feelings.

How Protests Reflect a Lack of Purpose

Further, to whom do these bone licks appeal? Every protest, demonstration or riot has a bad guy. If there isn’t at least an imaginary antagonist, that protest is simply a parade. There is a government, institution or at least a social temperature against which they believe they are fighting. Because of their youthful (I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt) ignorance, these conflagrating cunts don’t realize that by protesting, they are admitting two very embarrassing facts. First, they recognize that the government, university or their parents have full control over their lives. How flaccid this must feel to allow someone else to control you. Second, demonstrators admit that they do not have the power to truly change anything. Those who possess the desire to change something work their way into that thing and change it from within. The moment you choose to protest, you admit your impotence. Hence, a protest is nothing more than a large-scale tantrum.

The Role of Responsibility in Finding Purpose as a Man

A college campus is perhaps the perfect petri dish of attitudes to make this happen. These are adult-aged individuals who have yet to leave the nest. Most have their educations paid for and supported by their parents. They are far from independent. And so, they are adolescents in regard to becoming real adults. They’re adult by age, but far from it by behavior. While they usually live away from home, they’re basically just away at education camp. Age notwithstanding, these idiots prove by their behavior that they are babies.

Sovereignty Is Key

Racists, bigots, socialists and communists are all protected in the same way. Anyone can be anything. That means you might want to stop short of condemning those who disagree with you. While steadfastly unarmed, antagonizing those who are not seems thoroughly unwise. Just a thought.

Sovereignty Helps Men Find Purpose

A sovereign man would not protest anything. This is because real independence entails no recognition of subservience to any outside force. To whom or what would the sovereign man appeal in a protest? If he has full agency in his life, then there is no person or institution from whom he would seek charity, change or challenge. The government is not your antagonist, let alone misguided university administrations or parents. The only worthy adversary in your life is you.

The Role of Responsibilities in Shaping Your Purpose

Individual rights are the result of individual responsibilities. If you’re not willing to faithfully execute your responsibilities, you do not deserve your rights. Without Americans willing to level their rifles at potential thieves of liberty, there can be no expectation of freedom from government persecution. Violence is the gold standard, and the brandishing of it as outlined in the second amendment is the only thing between you and any of your state-granted rights disappearing like a fart in the wind. To those who are so tragically unwilling to do anything outside of complain about governmentally created rights, I ask you this simple question; What makes you worthy of said rights? My answer is nothing.

Actionable Steps in Finding Your Purpose

Rights don’t get you up in the morning, responsibilities do. No sovereign man ever set his alarm for his rights. Good men get up every morning to get to work on time, to get his kids to school, to make sure the driveway is plowed after a snowstorm. These are his responsibilities. These are the things he can control. These, unlike most governmental rights, he will fight for.

If you are lacking a purpose at any point in your life, there is great news. You get to choose what your purpose will be. You can pick anything! It will be your time and effort that determine this purpose, and I can guarantee that it will be a responsibility rather than a right. Also, the place you will find meaning will not fall into your lap. You will pick a thing and put your time and energy into it.

There is no finer purpose than building a strong family. Even if this family has been fractured, it’s on you to choose to put your time into the parts of it that are left. A happy, well-adjusted family is the pride of any man. While seeking the outcome of a happy family is natural, remember that you don’t undergo this work for that outcome. You choose to work so that you can bask in the contentment and peace of knowing you’re doing all you can. This is how you sleep soundly at night, face the world, and face yourself in the mirror. Your effort is all you have. Control what you can control.

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” -John F. Kennedy

I Found My Purpose: Helping Men Become Better Versions of Themselves

Sometimes I wake up and wonder how I got where I am. Of all the possibilities that existed for me as a young man, the only thing I was absolutely certain of was that I’d be raising a family right now. It’s disorienting sometimes. It feels like I’m in some alternate universe out of a 1980s cartoon. I have spent my adult years working to learn and become everything a great man could be. Since I’m not sharing that with a family, as I was sure I would be, I’ve chosen a new purpose. My purpose now is to share what I’ve learned with you. All the time and money I have goes directly to writing books and publishing podcasts to help others. I imagine a world where what I’m saying here is profoundly impacting you. I must believe that this work is making great men better. However, if it isn’t working, I’ll do it anyway. That’s how I sleep at night and look myself in the eye. This is my chosen purpose.

Your Next Steps

What have you chosen to put into your life that you really believe in? Start with your responsibilities. You almost definitely put those there on purpose. Of all the people, hobbies, careers, partners, places to live and pastimes that exist today, you chose yours. Your decisions put those things in front of you. Or at least, you chose to keep them there. Which one(s) can you put more effort into, without neglecting the other important things? This becomes your chosen purpose.

The above is an excerpt from Chapter 17 of my book, Ideal Man, MASTERING MASCULINITY. If you’d like more information on how to find your purpose, get the book here: Purchase Options